I Had a Little Crisis

Today, actually. I started thinking about my future and what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go...all that stuff...and I got discouraged. I freaked out. Although I tolerate my job right now because it pays well and is flexible, I don't want to be there for the rest of my life. I say that because there are several people who have worked there since the plant opened. They are really bitter and complain all the time. 

But I want to be free! I want to be a professional. A professional what, you may ask? I don't know, but something to which I could feel professional about. Maybe opening a practice to be a therapist. Maybe having an antiques store. Or, I could do some sort of consulting. In any case, I want to feel that I have a great deal of knowledge about what I do and that I am really making a difference in my field. I don't get that feeling working at the Postal Service. Even if I work as hard as I can all the mail just seems to come back the next day. 

I'm kind of feeling like I need to get down to business and figure out what I really want. I will be graduating from the U in a year, with two bachelor's degrees to show for it. After that I'll have to try to go to grad school or try to find a job, or both. While I'm excited for a change, I'm also scared that I'll have nowhere to go. I don't think my degrees are worthless necessarily, but I most probably need to go to grad school to fully implement them. But I'm sick of school...

What I think this anguish comes from is a lack of knowledge on my part. I've calmed down now and I've decided to look into what sort of careers I'd be interested in and then see what I need to do for them. And, if I take a year off from school, it's not going to hurt me. I'm still young. 

Maybe I'll move to Portland. I friend told me the economy isn't very good there, but I should see what I can find. The idea of packing up and moving to a whole new city is pretty exciting to me, even though I just had to unpack here. There's something about mobility that is invigorating. It brings new energy to a person. 

That's it. My outburst has been contained. I thought I would write about this since I usually write emotionless posts. 

Blaze, More Cat Burglars and a Vacation

Still don't have the internet, but I should be able to reconnect come Wednesday. In the meantime, here are some highlights from my previous week.

It is interminably hot in my new apartment. While I enjoy living in an attic, I have come to understand certain principles of energy all too well: namely, that heat rises. There is an air conditioner in the bedroom so at least I don't have to suffer in the nighttime. I'll be happy when it cools down.

We had another kitty burglar, this time in my new place. It was a tiny furry kitten who meowed by our window to let him in. He was very adventurous and explored our apartment with feline bravado. Then, he got hungry and scared and wanted to go home. Unfortunately we couldn't figure out where his rightful home was. When I went outside with him he escaped and hid under a car. I am happy to say that he was thereafter found by his owner, my neighbor, and is fine. I don't mind these kitties sneaking into my place, I just want them to be safe.

Lastly, I am going on a vacation! We will be in Portland for four days. I am looking forward to the break from my regular life as well as the opportunity to do some exploring of my own. I will definitely keep a travel journal and take some pictures as well. Until then...